Day 31: My Last Day as a Christian

So we’ve finally reached the end of the month—and I couldn’t be happier about it. I know I went in a little biased against Christianity, given my background, and I know I was sick for a good chunk of the month, but still—it was pretty much hell (no pun intended). I think I’ve been in a bad mood every day since this month started. But just knowing it’s almost over has perked me up a little bit, so I’m grateful for that.

The question is: Did I learn anything?

Yeah, I did. For starters, I learned that almost no one has read the entire Bible. If people were really reading it, it wouldn’t be the top-selling book of all time. It’s too boring, too poorly written, too redundant, and too contradictory to hold up as high-quality literature. And when you compare it to, say, the Hindu scriptures, the Bible is just painful to read. Sure, the Hindu holy books are redundant, too, but the language is so flowery and beautiful, I didn’t mind reading the same things over and over again. 

I also learned about Jesus Christ—or, rather, I learned how little there is to know about him, outside of the Bible’s account, which seemed so negative to me that I couldn’t imagine anyone liking Jesus as a person. 

On the other hand, I learned that, despite the biblical evidence, lots of people really do see Jesus as an actual presence and a true comfort in their lives. Lots of Christians feel like they know—and love—Jesus. So maybe the point is that Jesus Christ is whatever you need him to be. Hmm. That’s an idea I might actually be able to support.

There were also a few aspects of being a Christian that brought back pleasant memories for me. Thinking about Jesus and praying the rosary so much made me remember a lot of things I didn’t even know I had forgotten about my grandmother. And that was nice. She’s been dead for 16 years, and even while she was alive, I never thought we were very close, but my month as a Christian showed me that we had a better relationship than I ever realized. If there is a Christian heaven and, by some twist of fate, I ever make it there, it’s good to know that I’ll have something to talk to my grandmother about.

So maybe Christianity does have its good points. Obviously, it brings comfort and purpose to millions of people—whether they truly understand what they believe or not. But I guess it’s possible that religion—Christianity or any faith—isn’t about understanding. It’s about feeling and believing—something I’ve never been very good at. But I’ll keep trying.