Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Month 4, Day 15: Getting Ready for Taoism


I haven’t written in a while, but it’s not just because I’m lazy. Last week, a very close friend of my family passed away.

In times of crisis, like losing a loved one, many people—probably most people, other than atheists—turn to religion for comfort. Because I’ve been knee-deep in Confucianism, however, religion hasn’t been all that helpful to me over the last week.

As we’ve discovered so far this month, Confucianism is all about ritual and propriety. So maybe I would have felt a little better if I could have gone to the funeral and paid my respects in the proper Confucian fashion, but since I’m still in Texas and I’m pretty much broke, there was no way I was making it all the way to New Jersey.

Beyond the propriety of funeral rites, Confucianism doesn’t offer much solace to people in mourning. Sure, we know that Confucius never sang on the same day he cried and that one should never eat too much food when sitting next to a mourner. Beyond that, Confucianism is kind of a bust when it comes to making you feel better about death, whether it’s someone else’s death or your own.

Unlike other religions, such as Christianity, for example, Confucianism has no standard lines to deliver to someone who’s grieving. You can’t say that the person has “gone to a better place,” because the only “place” Confucians really recognize is some vague “Heaven” where the ancestors hang out and try to give us signs to guide us in our own lives. I don’t know, but I don’t find that very comforting.

But there is some good news. As of yesterday, I am no longer Confucian. I am now a Taoist.

So here’s hoping that Taoism will help me come to grips with how sad and grief-stricken I’ve been feeling and move on with my life and this project. I’ve got to say, so far, it doesn’t look promising. But I guess we’ll see.

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