The Ten Commandments

I know, I know. It’s been a while since I posted, but this time, it has nothing to do with my own personal depression or some kind of anger directed at the tenets of Judaism. I’m just crazy busy. Really. Hey, somebody’s got to pay the bills around here, and as much fun as blogging can be, it ain’t all that lucrative. But I apologize. I’ll try to do better.

Today, I want to talk a little about the Ten Commandments, which lay out the basic “rules,” so to speak, for being not only a Jew but also a Christian or a Muslim, since they kind of encapsulate the whole idea of what it means to follow a monotheistic faith. As authors Brandon Toropov and Father Luke Buckles put it in The Complete Idiot’s Guide to World Religions, the Ten Commandments “serve as the moral compass for the entire Judeo-Christian tradition.”

Although the Ten Commandments differ slightly between the version that appears in the Torah and in various editions of the Christian Bible, all the same general ideas are there. Some editions just break them down a little differently. So let’s take a look at the Jewish version, commonly referred to as the Decalogue.

The Ten Commandments

Just for the record, I’ve eliminated the old school “thou’s” and” thy’s” and “shalts” to try to simplify the text for modern (read: dumb) people. No offense—I probably don’t mean YOU.

1. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

2. You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall make no graven image, nor any manner of likeness, of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them, nor serve them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God.

Here’s where the Jewish and Christian versions of the Ten Commandments usually vary. The Christian version includes part of the second commandment in the first, so that it says “I am the Lord your God, and you shall have no other gods before Me.”

No, it’s not much of a difference, but I’ve got to say that the Christian version makes a little bit more sense to me, if only because “I am the Lord your God” isn’t much of a “commandment”—it’s just a statement. (Yes, this is just the editor in me being picky, I know.) It’s not telling anybody to do anything, just stating a fact. But I’ll let that go because both versions ultimately say the same thing.

Just as an interesting aside: From what I’ve read, in the very early days of Judaism, the Jews didn’t necessarily claim that their God was the only God. They accepted the existence of other people’s gods, but, as writer George Robinson puts it, “they also believed that their god could beat up everyone else’s gods.” You’ve gotta like that.

But let’s move on to the rest of the Ten Commandments, shall we?

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

Now, many people take this commandment to mean not only that you shouldn’t say things like “Goddamn it” but also that you should avoid swearing in any form. (We’ll talk more about this another time, but Jews are particularly careful about not using God’s name in casual conversation, even going so far as to write God’s various names with letters missing in order to avoid breaking this commandment. I like the dedication, but man—that just seems exhausting to me!)

4. Keep holy the Sabbath day. You shall labor six days, and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath, and you shall not do any manner of work.

Here’s another place where Jews and Christians (and Muslims, for that matter) differ. Although they all recognize that one day out of the week should be set aside for the contemplation of God, they each choose a different day on which to observe the Sabbath. As we’ve already discussed, Christians celebrate the Sabbath on Sunday and Muslims do it on Friday, whereas Jews observe the Sabbath from sundown on Friday evening through sundown on Saturday. Again, these seem like really minor differences when you think about it.

5. Honor your father and mother.

I know this commandment is especially hard to follow when you’re a teenager, but it’s pretty obvious. I kind of wish it went both ways, though, with parents being instructed to respect their children as well. But I guess even God doesn’t do it all.

6. You shall not kill.

7. You shall not commit adultery.

8. You shall not steal.

Frankly, if you need someone to tell you NOT to do these things, you have bigger problems than worrying about whether you’re being devout enough in your religion. If you do any of these things on a regular basis, you’re just a scumbag, plain and simple. My apologies to all those murderers, adulterers, and thieves out there (but not really).

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

In other words, don’t lie. Again, you shouldn’t need a commandment from the almighty up in heaven not to lie, but whatever—I guess people really are lousy assholes. (Oops. Was that a curse?)

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, or your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, or his ox or his ass, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Now, this one is a little more reasonable, in my opinion. Obviously, most of us (at least those of us who are NOT sociopaths) understand that we shouldn’t kill each other or steal or lie. Those are “big” sins. But envying stuff that other people have? Doing that is just human nature, in my opinion.

As much as I like to think of myself as a good person, I can’t help feeling a little tweaked when I see somebody who has nicer things and more money than I have, especially when I know they’re not as smart or as hardworking as I am. So being reminded that I shouldn’t be “covetous” is probably a really good commandment for someone like me—and, I imagine, someone like you. Admit it: You really, really wish you could get your hands on your neighbor’s manservant.

It’s a tough rule to follow, but forcing yourself to remember it probably makes you more aware of the “little” sins you commit on a daily basis.

So those are the Ten Commandments. I don’t know about you, but in general, I’m pretty observant of them, except for the whole “coveting” thing. But I’m working on it.