I’m feeling a little aimless and powerless today, so I thought it would be a good time to talk about some of the supposed benefits—and requirements—of being pagan, and in particular, being a witch.
Wiccan writer Silver RavenWolf says that when you make a genuine effort to train honestly as a witch, you will be granted the 13 powers of the universe. These powers are blessings that you can use to make your own life and the lives of other people better.
Okay, fair enough. So, what are these awesome gifts I should be expecting any day now? RavenWolf sums them up in a poem/prayer:
A Witch can give success in love
Curse or bless through God/dess above.
Speak to beasts and spirits alike
Command the weather; cast out a blight.
Read the heavens and stars of the night
Divine the future and give good advice.
Conjure treasure and bring future to bear
Heal the sick and kill despair.
Sounds fabulous. I’m ready anytime, universe—lay ’em on me.
It sure would be nice to “command the weather.” Bbelieve me, if I had that power, Dallas would have had a gorgeous white Christmas this year. But, considering the fact that I can barely get my dogs to sit, I won’t hold my breath on the part about speaking to “beasts and spirits alike.”
So maybe I should just hope for the best when it comes to the 13 powers of the Witch. For now, I think I ought to set my sights a little lower and look at the 13 Goals of a Witch.
Pagan writer Scott Cunningham lists the 13 Goals in his book Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. They are:
1. Know yourself.
Okay. I’ve got that one down. And it doesn’t say anything about liking what you know about yourself, so we’re all good.
2. Know your Craft (Wicca).
Or, for my purposes, know paganism in general. We’re working on that.
3. Learn.
Cool. That’s something I’ve always been good at.
4. Apply knowledge with wisdom.
Damn. Maybe I should have picked Athena, the goddess of wisdom, as my matron Goddess after all. Oh, well.
5. Achieve balance.
I’m assuming they’re not talking here about the kind of balance you need to walk a tightrope, in which case I’m screwed. I pretty much suck at achieving “life balance.” I’m an all work or all play kind of girl. I’ve never been very good at mixing them up.
6. Keep your words in good order.
That I can handle. Maybe.
7. Keep your thoughts in good order.
Uh-oh.
8. Celebrate life.
Hmm. That’s a tough one. It sounds so easy, but it probably makes more sense to someone whose life doesn’t suck most of the time. But I’ll try.
9. Attune with the cycles of the earth.
That’s easier to do when you live in a place that has actual seasons, but overall, I think it’s doable.
10. Breathe and eat correctly.
Man, this is getting harder and harder—I pretty much hate all healthy foods, and I know I don’t breathe properly. I constantly catch myself gasping for breath because apparently I “forget” to take in oxygen for long periods of time. Probably not a good sign.
11. Exercise the body.
Oops. I think the most exercise I’ve done in days is walking the dogs (as briefly as possible) and lifting my fork from my plate to my mouth.
12. Meditate.
Hooray! Finally, something I can do. Sort of.
13. Honor the Goddess and God.
Now, come on—you can vouch for the fact that I’m trying really hard to do that—right?
I guess I’ve got my work cut out for me, because I’m assuming that I have no chance of getting those 13 excellent powers if I don’t fulfill these 13 goals. I didn’t realize paganism would be so much work.
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