Month 10, Day 4: Tawba—Repenting for Sins in Islam

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Oh, wait. That’s the Catholic way—always sneaking back up on me. Let’s try again.

Okay, I’m supposed to be Muslim this month, which means that alcohol of any kind is strictly forbidden (the Muslim alcoholic dude on Intervention a couple of weeks ago notwithstanding). And, I admit, I had a couple of glasses of wine yesterday.

No, I’m not an alcoholic. There were, I assure you, extenuating circumstances that led to my fall from grace. I went with my boyfriend to New York City and ending up waiting for him in Times Square, standing up next to a slightly decrepit-looking theater, lugging my briefcase and laptop, for over an hour in the 90-degree heat. After that, a cool, smooth Pinot Grigio at the little Irish pub sounded—and tasted—really, really good.

But I did feel a little guilty about it. Actually, I felt a lot guilty (damn you, Catholic upbringing—even when I’m Muslim, I worry about what the nuns will think!).

Even though I don’t agree that having a drink is necessarily a sin (just like I don’t agree that my hair is so sexually enticing that it has the power to turn men into drooling animals), I still feel guilty—because I broke the rules. And, for some reason I really can’t explain, I’m big on sticking to the rules.

So to get back on track to being a good Muslim, I need to admit my sin and make amends for it. In Islam, this process of repentance is called tawba. In order to receive forgiveness from God (or Allah), you need to do four things:

1. Feel sorry for having committed the sin in the first place.

Check. If guilt equals feeling sorry, I’ve got that covered.

2. Repent to God, asking, “My Lord, forgive me.”

Check. And a lot easier than trying to remember the Catholic Act of Contrition prayer I used to have to say. I like that.

3. Make some form of restitution for the sin. 

Okay, I’m not quite sure what to do here. Maybe I should fall back to the old Catholic solution and say a few extra prayers (as if five times a day isn’t too much for me already). I’ll work on this one.

4. Resolve in all sincerity not to commit the sin ever again.

Oh, crap.

Okay, I think I can resolve not to drink another glass of wine during the time I am a Muslim. I can make it 30 days without caving. But when September rolls around and drinking wine is no longer a sin, all bets are off.